i won't be posting much here over the next couple of weeks. the very concept of a blog makes me uncomfortable; i don't care much for talking about myself. ultimately i'm heading towards posting what i journal about the trip to attempt to better explain what the fuck is happening on the ground out there, as it's not easy to get the truth about it from here.
below are copies of letters that have been sent about the globe in an attempt to aid the people our party stayed with. it was an NGO whose primary goal was religious outreach, but they are cool enough to recruit and bring anyone who wants to help, including myself and the two other non-believers i traveled with. scratch that--i'm a big believer, but i haven't worked inside an organized religion for many years. i believe in everything, and it's not easy to find a house of worship for a cat who believes in Jesus, Ganesha, Buddha, Allah, Voodoo, Vampires, Aliens, Zeus, you name it. i wouldn't attend if i could. personal reasons. anyway, the man who ran security at our compound revealed himself to be abusive the the young Haitians and one American who were under his charge full-time. he was manipulative, and he was cruel. he'd also managed to form a Christian cult of one for himself, and there was no room for another's beliefs, be they a different christian denomination (the other staff) or not (my party).
the doc and nurse i traveled with developed their own theories and coping skills, and so did i. i met him head on, to try and find redeeming qualities in the man. i also stood up to him because i didn't have the courage to do that with the men who abused their power and me when i was younger. i tried to work with this dude, though. i failed, and then i stopped. the graphic details of this man's lunacy i'll give later. we left Haiti knowing we had to let the founder, who was in Argentina, in on what was happening at the compound we stayed in. i'm omitting their names until i get legal advice on how to protect myself from this fucker. what follows is the correspondence between my party and the founder of the NGO. i knew i had to reach back into the past and write from a deeply religious perspective. those of you who know me now may be stunned at how deftly i quote scripture. i didn't want to be dogmatic, and i haven't called myself Christian in a number of years, but i had a moral duty to communicate in a way i'd be heard.
below are copies of letters that have been sent about the globe in an attempt to aid the people our party stayed with. it was an NGO whose primary goal was religious outreach, but they are cool enough to recruit and bring anyone who wants to help, including myself and the two other non-believers i traveled with. scratch that--i'm a big believer, but i haven't worked inside an organized religion for many years. i believe in everything, and it's not easy to find a house of worship for a cat who believes in Jesus, Ganesha, Buddha, Allah, Voodoo, Vampires, Aliens, Zeus, you name it. i wouldn't attend if i could. personal reasons. anyway, the man who ran security at our compound revealed himself to be abusive the the young Haitians and one American who were under his charge full-time. he was manipulative, and he was cruel. he'd also managed to form a Christian cult of one for himself, and there was no room for another's beliefs, be they a different christian denomination (the other staff) or not (my party).
the doc and nurse i traveled with developed their own theories and coping skills, and so did i. i met him head on, to try and find redeeming qualities in the man. i also stood up to him because i didn't have the courage to do that with the men who abused their power and me when i was younger. i tried to work with this dude, though. i failed, and then i stopped. the graphic details of this man's lunacy i'll give later. we left Haiti knowing we had to let the founder, who was in Argentina, in on what was happening at the compound we stayed in. i'm omitting their names until i get legal advice on how to protect myself from this fucker. what follows is the correspondence between my party and the founder of the NGO. i knew i had to reach back into the past and write from a deeply religious perspective. those of you who know me now may be stunned at how deftly i quote scripture. i didn't want to be dogmatic, and i haven't called myself Christian in a number of years, but i had a moral duty to communicate in a way i'd be heard.
my doctor wrote:
Hello ******, [Dr.] ******* from California just back from your facility in Haiti. I want to again thank you for creating an avenue for me to work in Haiti. To continue to participate in Haiti's reconstruction does seem to be a good project although quite difficult.
This was the first time I had been away from the Adventist hospital site and first interactions with ****. Translators Leo and Bat[halie] I knew and was introduced to Andy from Kentucky. My group consisted of myself a RN and a teacher with extensive experience working with children.
Overall our experience was positive. We worked at the Medishare Hospital for 4 days and did visit orphanages but only one with medical evaluations.
I have concerns about **** as your representative at that facility. Very Dogmatic with an emphasis on the Bible I have not seen in previous visits. My experience with formal religion is limited but****'s overtly powerful personality permitted little interpretation but his in matters of the Bible as well as things in general.
As a security agent he was very vigilant but inconsistent. He had made arrangements for us to visit a town of 2,000 people that had an orphanage that had been visited a couple of weeks prior. At previous visit 4 practitioners saw about 50 children. At this visit with myself and my experienced but not Haiti savvy RN were to be the only practitioners. Not only to follow up on orphans but to see the whole town. This was an unreasonable expectation with high chance for being over-run by those hundreds we could not see. We eventually declined this obligation but I do question his judgement.
In past visits I have found my interactions with [your NGO] to provide a sense of purpose and learning. This last visit I felt less useful and more uncomfortable with my local environment. I came away with concern for those living at the site under the leadership of **** with his little room for discussion. I do not know what your future plans are and if you would even want me to return but I would not if **** was the only voice of [your NGO]. I do not feel he represents your philosophy.
Please feel free to call or e-mail me. I would be happy to call you if you left a number and time frame.
I have always found you inspiring and thoughtful (although I didn't always agree with you) and would without hesitancy work with you in the future.
Thanks, [Dr.] *******
our nurse wrote:
Mr. ******- I have just returned from Haiti where I stayed at the **** house in Port-au-Prince with Dr. ****** and Jabari from Humboldt County, California. I want to thank you for allowing and assisting me in making this journey and having it be a safe one. I had no idea how bad things were in Haiti and after spending 10 days there I am struggling with how I can make a difference in the disaster that Haiti continues to experience. I greatly appreciated being able to stay in a house where there was good food and running water and people that opened their hearts to us. Andy is quite an amazing young man. His heart is in the right place and his perspective was helpful in the first few days during our adjustment phase. Leo and Batalie were bright stars in their help with translation and explaining their perspective of the situation. They both worked hard and were an amazing help to us. **** provided us with a secure situation when we were out of the compound and I never felt unsafe when he was with us. He is a challenging man to spend time with. I am not sure what his demons are but it was difficult to observe his ways with Leo and Batalie and Andy. There is an intimidation factor that I see as unhealthy. They are afraid to speak their truth with him and after observing his way, I can understand their hesitancy. I was confused as to the mission that [your NGO] was representing there. I believe there is a lot of reinventing of the wheel and unnecessary energy expenditure going on. I believe that the tending to orphans is a most important undertaking. I am confused as to why there is not a focus on more local orphanages which would take out the hours spent traveling the city to get to orphanages that are so far away. I was disturbed with the inconsistency shown to me about feeding this one particular orphanage. It sounded like the children counted on [your NGO] feeding them and yet the two weeks prior to our arrival, **** was "too busy" to make time to feed them and they went without. I recognize that there were large groups at [your NGO's] house but it did not feel right that these children were put on the back burner for two weeks. I believe our time there was put to good use but could have been more efficient as well. You have a wealth of supplies and medicines that need to get out in to the community for these people and unless there is an organized plan I am afraid that many of the drugs will become outdated and useless to the people. I was concerned that there was no system in place for tracking the work that was done with these orphans, i.e. information about what had been done and follow-up needed. Having the records in the states does no good to these children if continuity of care is the goal. I am interested in hearing what your vision is with [your NGO] and would like to offer my perspective on ways it could be more efficiently run. I have concerns regarding the generator and it's placement. I believe a small shed to house the generator would be best and would dispel health concerns for Annette and others that live in close proximity to the fumes that invade their living space. I will be returning to Haiti later in the summer to work with the orphans. I look forward to your response to the letter I have written to you today. Thank you again, Jill *****
they only received one response from the founder, which i read but do not possess. it essentially said, "I'm sorry you had such grave concerns". he didn't hear them. here is my first attempt to be heard. it's...lengthy and girth-y (just my style). if you're the bible-reading type, grab yours:
Dear D*** *****,
My name is Jabari Morgan and I've recently spent 10 days at the [NGO's] compound in Kafou Marin during a relief mission I accompanied Dr. ******* ******* and Nurse Jill ***** on. I'm an educator from Northern California (English and Drama, mostly), but for the purposes of this email you should be aware that I was a minister, a "man of the cloth", if you will, for over 12 years. (Also, it's my understanding that you access your emails through an I-Phone, which i fear will make reading this a chore, this letter would best be read on a large screen and with time to digest its contents. Please read this entire communication thoughtfully. Let me know if you need me to re-send it in smaller increments.) Although I would be remiss if I did not thank you and your [NGO's] staff for facilitating my very successful trip to Haiti--one of the most important moments of my life--, it is with a heavy heart that I write to you now.
I'll come right to the point: I am exceedingly worried about the spiritual, mental, and God forbid physical welfare of the youth in the house under the leadership of ***** *******. I witnessed a large number of disturbing interactions ***** had with the members of [NGO] while I was in Haiti, and I left certain in the knowledge that ***** ******* is an ego-maniacal dictator who is endangering the very people he's been charged to shepherd and protect. Do not think that I came to this conclusion lightly; I myself engaged ***** ******* in long hours of conversation, trying to find the light, goodness, and God-ness in his heart, but I came away from those attempts even more certain of the charges I'm leveling here.
***** ******* flat-out told me on more than one occasion that the physical welfare of those he is "serving" is of no concern to him, that making Haiti better physically and mentally is something he could care less about. It is the spiritual needs of Haiti he's there for. That would be admirable, but I observed him using his wits to tear down the spirituality in those around him so he could build it back up in lines with his beliefs and his beliefs only. Is that the kind of generosity the Apostle Paul praised in 2 Cor. 8:1-5? ***** espoused a philosophy of "share and show me your beliefs and if you're right I'll back down", but [sir], every time someone offered up a scripture for discussion they were not allowed to finish their thought before ***** began to tear it down, and on two occasions he laughed at the individual for ever holding the belief they held. His behavior has left the spirits of the faithful in his midst broken.
The fear instilled in the house due to the man you have left in charge is staggering. I will provide you more examples of the spiritual carnage ***** ******* is leaving in his wake that I have witnessed. Please be mindful--and I'll come back to this point--that the youth in the Kafou Marin house are terrified that ***** will find out how they feel and then fire them, robbing them of the only joy and security they've felt in months (due to helping others).
~What ***** and I have in common is that we both decided not to adhere to the construct of organized religion. I, however, respect the worth and dignity that is inherent in every man's and in every woman's right to believe what they wish. The only person whose spirituality ***** respects as worthy of God is his own. He does not believe that your beliefs will lead you to God--I asked him. He would "not want to be in your shoes". Onto Andy. Andy. What an impressive, powerful man. Powerful in his desire to do good for the downtrodden and to spread the word of God to a willing listener. Andy, who has sacrificed so much to be in Haiti, not to be threatening to those around him--the role given to him by *****--but to love and heal. Andy, who is not permitted to share his beliefs with others by decree of ***** *******. Andy is deserving of the praise uttered in 1 Thessalonians 1:2-5, and the hope offered in verse 6, but instead, thanks to *****, he's forced to try and not let people see that he looks and acts like a dog that has been beaten and abused. Andy brought the only joy I witnessed in the house. The youth of [NGO] came alive in his presence, in the light of Andy's smile and spiritual encouragement. Many were the times ***** could sense this happening so he came into the room and forced people to go their separate ways. Andy, your greatest resource in Haiti, is stifled and silenced. He's meant to be there, but ***** ******* will drive him away. (Acts 5:28,29,33, Acts 13:44-50, Acts 15:6-11)
~[Sir], the biggest miracle I saw while in Haiti was the almost ever-present smile on translator Leo Jameson's face. This is why it was so devastating to see him brought low by ***** *******. More than one person asked me not to act on the following for fear of their well-being, but I am told you are a thoughtful and caring man, so I cannot in good conscience withhold what I am about to tell you. The most horrible result of ***** *******'s lunacy is contained in the following: In a move of remarkable bravery, Leo broached the subject of helping to feed the hungry volunteers of [NGO], both the translators and the Haitians involved with spiritual outreach. It was a topic that had been put off for sometime, and understandably so due to [NGO] lack of resources. ***** ******* acquiesced on the need to try and find help for the translators, but, rather than admit that there were no funds available to help volunteers in spiritual outreach, ***** saw fit to make Leo Jameson feel like a bad Christian for even asking that aid be considered. He queried Leo, I have it from separate sources, as to whether a true follower of Christ would ever have asked what Leo asked. I saw the result of *****'s words, [sir], and it is just about my darkest memory of Haiti: that young man (who had witnessed so much death and destruction!) lay curled in the fetal position on his bed trembling and weeping. weeping. Then he fell to his knees and shaked and cried and prayed, endlessly. I ask you: is that the effect you want your man on the ground to have on the future of Haiti?? That poor boy was never the same. They hold ***** ******* in such high esteem that he can destroy them with a word or a look. Shameful. Shameful. I do not need to remind you, though clearly ***** ******* has forgotten, that Jesus the Christ fed and cared for not only his closest disciples, but strangers as well! (Matthew 14:13-22, Matthew 15:29-38, John 6:1-14) How could ***** ******* make that boy feel like he was a bad Christian for trying to help his fellow suffering man? How could a supposed follower of Christ treat a young man this way? Jesus was crystal clear in his approach to young hearts and minds. (Matthew 18:1-4, Matthew 18:5,6, Matthew 18:7-10, Mark 9:33-37, Mark 10:13-16, Acts 16:30-34, Act 27:33-36)
~I was traveling with a small party in the Tap-Tap after an especially long, hot afternoon getting to and feeding an orphanage. I insisted we go to the (relatively) safe market near the turn-off for our neighborhood so I could get an electrolyte restoring drink. After ***** *******'s phone went to voicemail several times, and still I insisted we stop briefly, one of the young translators went into a panic under the assumption they would get fired for allowing this visit to the market. The stop went off without a hitch, save the terror in the eyes of that young Haitian.
~On a personal note: [Sir], I listened very closely to the prayers being offered up under the roof at the Kafou Marin [NGO] compound. I was deeply disturbed by the fact that everyone who prayed used the words "we" and "us" so sincerely...everyone but ***** *******, whose prayers were so entrenched in the word and concept of "I", "I", "I", "My", "My", "My" that my only recourse when hearing them was to ask for guidance on how best to follow Christ's interactions with the Pharisees and Sadducees, some of the most selfish men in all of Holy Scripture.
~Aside from the spiritual damage, the possessiveness and jealousy coming from ***** affected the physical well-being of Haitians. I informed ***** of the desire of the Medishare staff I was working with for "one day, just one or two days we need a reliable, on-time interpreter", but ***** would not allow Leo, whose presence was requested by more than just myself, to accompany us. Leo who wants to become a doctor and could have spent time with brilliant American surgeons, doctors, and nurses. Many were the times I ran about the Medishare field hospital searching for an interpreter while Leo was sitting at the [NGO] compound or accompanying ***** ******* to the market or to get a haircut. Shameful.
I could go on, Mr. *******, and will happily do so if that is what you require. Know this, sir: your goals in Haiti are being sabotaged and eviscerated by the man in charge on the ground. In ten short days I saw a staggering amount of emotional and verbal abuse trained at your staff by ***** *******. Mr. *******, search your heart and pray. You are the only person I know who could bring the living hell the staff at the [NGO] compound in Haiti are experiencing to an end. A warm body in charge of security and the spiritual direction of your organization is not enough. A person doing harm is worse than no person at all. I would return to [NGO] in the span of a heartbeat if ***** ******* was not there; [NGO] has the potential and momentum to do great things in Haiti and elsewhere, and I could see myself making a long-term commitment to [NGO]. But sir, as you contemplate how you respond remember the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr: Non-cooperation with evil is just as much a moral duty as cooperation with good.
My parting words to ***** ******* were these: "Examine every word Jesus ever uttered in the presence of or about children, and use those as a guidepost for how you treat these young, tender , broken Haitian hearts."
Perhaps that will buy the youth on the ground some time, [sir]. ***** ******* expressed to us that you two established your relationship after a some short interactions during which you were very impressed with him. I am not impressed, and, if through time constraints and no fault of your own your eyes have not yet had opportunity to see the real ***** *******, beware. He believes he is smarter than you, me--the lot of us. He will try to talk you into letting him keep his stronghold over [NGO] in Haiti. He will put all others in the wrong and himself solely in the right. Right now, my most fervent prayer for Haiti is that you address this situation and put [NGO] back on track so it can do the healing physical and spiritual work you originally intended. Please contact me if I can help you to do this in any way, large or small.
Romans 8:27, James 4:17, 1 Peter 3:11
Many Blessings,
Jabari Morgan
June 2010
The founder's response was prompt:
Jabari,
Thank you so much for taking the time to write with such a good attitude.
It is deeply troubling with what you are sharing in that the goals and objectives of [NGO] are truly to help the suffering whether it be volunteers or Haitians in exemplifying Christ.
Can I have your permission to share this email with [subject of email]?
This does not sound like an easy fix, but Lord willing we have seen many miracles take place.
God Bless,
***** *******
i was troubled about this response; i felt it didn't rise to the severity of the issues raised. (i was fucking pissed. more than that, i was fucking worried for the people i was trying to protect.) i was advised by friends/family to sit on my reaction for a day, to temper the temper. i did not follow this advice:
Dear ***** *******,
Please, on behalf of what your organization and your personal beliefs stand for, further consider my troubling assessment of what [NGO] in Haiti is being put through. Sir, change and turmoil are hard, but trying to fix this while allowing things to remain the same will damage [NGO], your reputation, and, most importantly, adversely effect the lives of your team in Haiti. I am a stranger, so you have little reason to trust me--but you should.
My purpose in writing you was not to get you to share this information with ***** *******. You can share my email with anyone on your team, save him. Why not? Because if I thought sharing my insights would benefit him or those around him, I would have continued to take those insights to him directly. The opposite is true. If he reads what I have relayed he will punish the people at the [NGO] house. ***** is capable of doing harm to those around him, and, when he's back in the States, that includes me and those I traveled with as well. I could endure Mr. *******'s attempts to fight my statements in American courts and in the eyes of God simply because my statements are true, but I'd rather spend my time and money helping the people of Haiti.
[Sir], ***** won't read my words and feel ashamed, cry, repent, and change his ways. Those precious souls staying at the compound fear his reprisal, and to a much smaller extent, so do I. I was told his abuse of power gets worse when larger groups than mine are present, and I believe you have some coming next month. I'm pleading with you, sir: my advice to you is to get to Port-au-Prince right away and conduct a thorough, impartial investigation of your own, or, barring that, put someone else in charge and trust in the Lord. Bring someone you know and trust in. Or take a chance on Andy and the staff. I will fly out there the day after tomorrow to assist in any transition, if need be, but I cannot and you should not trust ***** ****** to change or to implement positive changes. His troubles are deep, and he does not know how to keep them to himself.
Query other members of my party, of past travelers to [NGO] in Haiti. Ring me today in the states at 707-***-**** if you need to hear the conviction with which I speak. The light of truth will inevitably always shine on any given situation, but in this case is it worth the risk to wait?
Allow me, please, to share some parting scriptures with you that I have been reading since I first wrote you: Acts 10:34,35, 1 John 3:4,5,6,7,&8, Proverbs 12:18, Colossians 4:6, and Proverbs 17:17.
I again urge you, with humility, to consider what is best for the people you have been inspired to help.
Respectfully,
Jabari Morgan
I received the following response shortly thereafter, and was able to have my first decent rest since my return. I will ask to be informed of what conclusions are reached:
Dear Jabari,
In light of your insights, I have requested the Chair of our Board to investigate these serious matters personally with a personal evaluation trip this week to Haiti to meet with ***** and others. He is also a very Godly man and knows how to stand for what is right and the vision of [NGO] WR.
God Bless,
***** *******
our nurse wrote:
Mr. ******- I have just returned from Haiti where I stayed at the **** house in Port-au-Prince with Dr. ****** and Jabari from Humboldt County, California. I want to thank you for allowing and assisting me in making this journey and having it be a safe one. I had no idea how bad things were in Haiti and after spending 10 days there I am struggling with how I can make a difference in the disaster that Haiti continues to experience. I greatly appreciated being able to stay in a house where there was good food and running water and people that opened their hearts to us. Andy is quite an amazing young man. His heart is in the right place and his perspective was helpful in the first few days during our adjustment phase. Leo and Batalie were bright stars in their help with translation and explaining their perspective of the situation. They both worked hard and were an amazing help to us. **** provided us with a secure situation when we were out of the compound and I never felt unsafe when he was with us. He is a challenging man to spend time with. I am not sure what his demons are but it was difficult to observe his ways with Leo and Batalie and Andy. There is an intimidation factor that I see as unhealthy. They are afraid to speak their truth with him and after observing his way, I can understand their hesitancy. I was confused as to the mission that [your NGO] was representing there. I believe there is a lot of reinventing of the wheel and unnecessary energy expenditure going on. I believe that the tending to orphans is a most important undertaking. I am confused as to why there is not a focus on more local orphanages which would take out the hours spent traveling the city to get to orphanages that are so far away. I was disturbed with the inconsistency shown to me about feeding this one particular orphanage. It sounded like the children counted on [your NGO] feeding them and yet the two weeks prior to our arrival, **** was "too busy" to make time to feed them and they went without. I recognize that there were large groups at [your NGO's] house but it did not feel right that these children were put on the back burner for two weeks. I believe our time there was put to good use but could have been more efficient as well. You have a wealth of supplies and medicines that need to get out in to the community for these people and unless there is an organized plan I am afraid that many of the drugs will become outdated and useless to the people. I was concerned that there was no system in place for tracking the work that was done with these orphans, i.e. information about what had been done and follow-up needed. Having the records in the states does no good to these children if continuity of care is the goal. I am interested in hearing what your vision is with [your NGO] and would like to offer my perspective on ways it could be more efficiently run. I have concerns regarding the generator and it's placement. I believe a small shed to house the generator would be best and would dispel health concerns for Annette and others that live in close proximity to the fumes that invade their living space. I will be returning to Haiti later in the summer to work with the orphans. I look forward to your response to the letter I have written to you today. Thank you again, Jill *****
they only received one response from the founder, which i read but do not possess. it essentially said, "I'm sorry you had such grave concerns". he didn't hear them. here is my first attempt to be heard. it's...lengthy and girth-y (just my style). if you're the bible-reading type, grab yours:
Dear D*** *****,
My name is Jabari Morgan and I've recently spent 10 days at the [NGO's] compound in Kafou Marin during a relief mission I accompanied Dr. ******* ******* and Nurse Jill ***** on. I'm an educator from Northern California (English and Drama, mostly), but for the purposes of this email you should be aware that I was a minister, a "man of the cloth", if you will, for over 12 years. (Also, it's my understanding that you access your emails through an I-Phone, which i fear will make reading this a chore, this letter would best be read on a large screen and with time to digest its contents. Please read this entire communication thoughtfully. Let me know if you need me to re-send it in smaller increments.) Although I would be remiss if I did not thank you and your [NGO's] staff for facilitating my very successful trip to Haiti--one of the most important moments of my life--, it is with a heavy heart that I write to you now.
I'll come right to the point: I am exceedingly worried about the spiritual, mental, and God forbid physical welfare of the youth in the house under the leadership of ***** *******. I witnessed a large number of disturbing interactions ***** had with the members of [NGO] while I was in Haiti, and I left certain in the knowledge that ***** ******* is an ego-maniacal dictator who is endangering the very people he's been charged to shepherd and protect. Do not think that I came to this conclusion lightly; I myself engaged ***** ******* in long hours of conversation, trying to find the light, goodness, and God-ness in his heart, but I came away from those attempts even more certain of the charges I'm leveling here.
***** ******* flat-out told me on more than one occasion that the physical welfare of those he is "serving" is of no concern to him, that making Haiti better physically and mentally is something he could care less about. It is the spiritual needs of Haiti he's there for. That would be admirable, but I observed him using his wits to tear down the spirituality in those around him so he could build it back up in lines with his beliefs and his beliefs only. Is that the kind of generosity the Apostle Paul praised in 2 Cor. 8:1-5? ***** espoused a philosophy of "share and show me your beliefs and if you're right I'll back down", but [sir], every time someone offered up a scripture for discussion they were not allowed to finish their thought before ***** began to tear it down, and on two occasions he laughed at the individual for ever holding the belief they held. His behavior has left the spirits of the faithful in his midst broken.
The fear instilled in the house due to the man you have left in charge is staggering. I will provide you more examples of the spiritual carnage ***** ******* is leaving in his wake that I have witnessed. Please be mindful--and I'll come back to this point--that the youth in the Kafou Marin house are terrified that ***** will find out how they feel and then fire them, robbing them of the only joy and security they've felt in months (due to helping others).
~What ***** and I have in common is that we both decided not to adhere to the construct of organized religion. I, however, respect the worth and dignity that is inherent in every man's and in every woman's right to believe what they wish. The only person whose spirituality ***** respects as worthy of God is his own. He does not believe that your beliefs will lead you to God--I asked him. He would "not want to be in your shoes". Onto Andy. Andy. What an impressive, powerful man. Powerful in his desire to do good for the downtrodden and to spread the word of God to a willing listener. Andy, who has sacrificed so much to be in Haiti, not to be threatening to those around him--the role given to him by *****--but to love and heal. Andy, who is not permitted to share his beliefs with others by decree of ***** *******. Andy is deserving of the praise uttered in 1 Thessalonians 1:2-5, and the hope offered in verse 6, but instead, thanks to *****, he's forced to try and not let people see that he looks and acts like a dog that has been beaten and abused. Andy brought the only joy I witnessed in the house. The youth of [NGO] came alive in his presence, in the light of Andy's smile and spiritual encouragement. Many were the times ***** could sense this happening so he came into the room and forced people to go their separate ways. Andy, your greatest resource in Haiti, is stifled and silenced. He's meant to be there, but ***** ******* will drive him away. (Acts 5:28,29,33, Acts 13:44-50, Acts 15:6-11)
~[Sir], the biggest miracle I saw while in Haiti was the almost ever-present smile on translator Leo Jameson's face. This is why it was so devastating to see him brought low by ***** *******. More than one person asked me not to act on the following for fear of their well-being, but I am told you are a thoughtful and caring man, so I cannot in good conscience withhold what I am about to tell you. The most horrible result of ***** *******'s lunacy is contained in the following: In a move of remarkable bravery, Leo broached the subject of helping to feed the hungry volunteers of [NGO], both the translators and the Haitians involved with spiritual outreach. It was a topic that had been put off for sometime, and understandably so due to [NGO] lack of resources. ***** ******* acquiesced on the need to try and find help for the translators, but, rather than admit that there were no funds available to help volunteers in spiritual outreach, ***** saw fit to make Leo Jameson feel like a bad Christian for even asking that aid be considered. He queried Leo, I have it from separate sources, as to whether a true follower of Christ would ever have asked what Leo asked. I saw the result of *****'s words, [sir], and it is just about my darkest memory of Haiti: that young man (who had witnessed so much death and destruction!) lay curled in the fetal position on his bed trembling and weeping. weeping. Then he fell to his knees and shaked and cried and prayed, endlessly. I ask you: is that the effect you want your man on the ground to have on the future of Haiti?? That poor boy was never the same. They hold ***** ******* in such high esteem that he can destroy them with a word or a look. Shameful. Shameful. I do not need to remind you, though clearly ***** ******* has forgotten, that Jesus the Christ fed and cared for not only his closest disciples, but strangers as well! (Matthew 14:13-22, Matthew 15:29-38, John 6:1-14) How could ***** ******* make that boy feel like he was a bad Christian for trying to help his fellow suffering man? How could a supposed follower of Christ treat a young man this way? Jesus was crystal clear in his approach to young hearts and minds. (Matthew 18:1-4, Matthew 18:5,6, Matthew 18:7-10, Mark 9:33-37, Mark 10:13-16, Acts 16:30-34, Act 27:33-36)
~I was traveling with a small party in the Tap-Tap after an especially long, hot afternoon getting to and feeding an orphanage. I insisted we go to the (relatively) safe market near the turn-off for our neighborhood so I could get an electrolyte restoring drink. After ***** *******'s phone went to voicemail several times, and still I insisted we stop briefly, one of the young translators went into a panic under the assumption they would get fired for allowing this visit to the market. The stop went off without a hitch, save the terror in the eyes of that young Haitian.
~On a personal note: [Sir], I listened very closely to the prayers being offered up under the roof at the Kafou Marin [NGO] compound. I was deeply disturbed by the fact that everyone who prayed used the words "we" and "us" so sincerely...everyone but ***** *******, whose prayers were so entrenched in the word and concept of "I", "I", "I", "My", "My", "My" that my only recourse when hearing them was to ask for guidance on how best to follow Christ's interactions with the Pharisees and Sadducees, some of the most selfish men in all of Holy Scripture.
~Aside from the spiritual damage, the possessiveness and jealousy coming from ***** affected the physical well-being of Haitians. I informed ***** of the desire of the Medishare staff I was working with for "one day, just one or two days we need a reliable, on-time interpreter", but ***** would not allow Leo, whose presence was requested by more than just myself, to accompany us. Leo who wants to become a doctor and could have spent time with brilliant American surgeons, doctors, and nurses. Many were the times I ran about the Medishare field hospital searching for an interpreter while Leo was sitting at the [NGO] compound or accompanying ***** ******* to the market or to get a haircut. Shameful.
I could go on, Mr. *******, and will happily do so if that is what you require. Know this, sir: your goals in Haiti are being sabotaged and eviscerated by the man in charge on the ground. In ten short days I saw a staggering amount of emotional and verbal abuse trained at your staff by ***** *******. Mr. *******, search your heart and pray. You are the only person I know who could bring the living hell the staff at the [NGO] compound in Haiti are experiencing to an end. A warm body in charge of security and the spiritual direction of your organization is not enough. A person doing harm is worse than no person at all. I would return to [NGO] in the span of a heartbeat if ***** ******* was not there; [NGO] has the potential and momentum to do great things in Haiti and elsewhere, and I could see myself making a long-term commitment to [NGO]. But sir, as you contemplate how you respond remember the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr: Non-cooperation with evil is just as much a moral duty as cooperation with good.
My parting words to ***** ******* were these: "Examine every word Jesus ever uttered in the presence of or about children, and use those as a guidepost for how you treat these young, tender , broken Haitian hearts."
Perhaps that will buy the youth on the ground some time, [sir]. ***** ******* expressed to us that you two established your relationship after a some short interactions during which you were very impressed with him. I am not impressed, and, if through time constraints and no fault of your own your eyes have not yet had opportunity to see the real ***** *******, beware. He believes he is smarter than you, me--the lot of us. He will try to talk you into letting him keep his stronghold over [NGO] in Haiti. He will put all others in the wrong and himself solely in the right. Right now, my most fervent prayer for Haiti is that you address this situation and put [NGO] back on track so it can do the healing physical and spiritual work you originally intended. Please contact me if I can help you to do this in any way, large or small.
Romans 8:27, James 4:17, 1 Peter 3:11
Many Blessings,
Jabari Morgan
June 2010
The founder's response was prompt:
Jabari,
Thank you so much for taking the time to write with such a good attitude.
It is deeply troubling with what you are sharing in that the goals and objectives of [NGO] are truly to help the suffering whether it be volunteers or Haitians in exemplifying Christ.
Can I have your permission to share this email with [subject of email]?
This does not sound like an easy fix, but Lord willing we have seen many miracles take place.
God Bless,
***** *******
i was troubled about this response; i felt it didn't rise to the severity of the issues raised. (i was fucking pissed. more than that, i was fucking worried for the people i was trying to protect.) i was advised by friends/family to sit on my reaction for a day, to temper the temper. i did not follow this advice:
Dear ***** *******,
Please, on behalf of what your organization and your personal beliefs stand for, further consider my troubling assessment of what [NGO] in Haiti is being put through. Sir, change and turmoil are hard, but trying to fix this while allowing things to remain the same will damage [NGO], your reputation, and, most importantly, adversely effect the lives of your team in Haiti. I am a stranger, so you have little reason to trust me--but you should.
My purpose in writing you was not to get you to share this information with ***** *******. You can share my email with anyone on your team, save him. Why not? Because if I thought sharing my insights would benefit him or those around him, I would have continued to take those insights to him directly. The opposite is true. If he reads what I have relayed he will punish the people at the [NGO] house. ***** is capable of doing harm to those around him, and, when he's back in the States, that includes me and those I traveled with as well. I could endure Mr. *******'s attempts to fight my statements in American courts and in the eyes of God simply because my statements are true, but I'd rather spend my time and money helping the people of Haiti.
[Sir], ***** won't read my words and feel ashamed, cry, repent, and change his ways. Those precious souls staying at the compound fear his reprisal, and to a much smaller extent, so do I. I was told his abuse of power gets worse when larger groups than mine are present, and I believe you have some coming next month. I'm pleading with you, sir: my advice to you is to get to Port-au-Prince right away and conduct a thorough, impartial investigation of your own, or, barring that, put someone else in charge and trust in the Lord. Bring someone you know and trust in. Or take a chance on Andy and the staff. I will fly out there the day after tomorrow to assist in any transition, if need be, but I cannot and you should not trust ***** ****** to change or to implement positive changes. His troubles are deep, and he does not know how to keep them to himself.
Query other members of my party, of past travelers to [NGO] in Haiti. Ring me today in the states at 707-***-**** if you need to hear the conviction with which I speak. The light of truth will inevitably always shine on any given situation, but in this case is it worth the risk to wait?
Allow me, please, to share some parting scriptures with you that I have been reading since I first wrote you: Acts 10:34,35, 1 John 3:4,5,6,7,&8, Proverbs 12:18, Colossians 4:6, and Proverbs 17:17.
I again urge you, with humility, to consider what is best for the people you have been inspired to help.
Respectfully,
Jabari Morgan
I received the following response shortly thereafter, and was able to have my first decent rest since my return. I will ask to be informed of what conclusions are reached:
Dear Jabari,
In light of your insights, I have requested the Chair of our Board to investigate these serious matters personally with a personal evaluation trip this week to Haiti to meet with ***** and others. He is also a very Godly man and knows how to stand for what is right and the vision of [NGO] WR.
God Bless,
***** *******
if you made it through this, wow. good on ya. I'm ending this flip but know that these troubles completely consumed me and detracted from the work we were trying to accomplish. the nurse and doctor I was with had stunning insights on the man in question, they spied from their professional, worldly, savvy viewpoints weaknesses i was too blind to see, physical and mental weaknesses that contributed to his abusive nature. we even discussed how we'd react if he got violent. There are more sad endings than happy ones down there right now, and i hope the latter applies to the disaster i've shared with you today.
jabari
june 2010
jabari
june 2010
